“What I love most about Polestar and Brent Anderson’s message is the spirit of generosity.” – Mara Sievers
I remember reading a newsletter Brent wrote a while ago encouraging us to visit other Pilates studios, even the ones that are not teaching our technique or style. We can learn from everyone. Each new piece of information, every creative variation enriches us. Every life experience for that matter.
There is no reason to be afraid of other styles, schools or teachings.
When I first opened my studio, I felt a significant amount of stress to fill my classes and make everyone love Pilates so that my studio and I would thrive. This stress took quite a toll on my mental and physical wellbeing, so I made the conscious decision to eliminate the self-imposed stress of competition. I have to admit that it was initially more of a “fake it ’til you make it” effort, but over the years, I can honestly say that I have completely dropped the fear of competition.
Last year I visited a Pilates studio and took a session with the owner. During our session a man came in the door who was curious about Pilates and wanted some information. After briefly showing the man around the studio, she let the prospect go. She told me that her schedule was booked and she doesn’t need new clients. That’s wonderful for her, but she missed an opportunity to generously share the Pilates method with someone who’s interested by referring him to another nearby studio.
In order for the Pilates method to thrive, we all need to thrive. In this example, the studio owner could have brought business to another like-minded, hard working business owner. The man who came in would have remembered that this lady was generous enough to help him get what he was looking for even though she got nothing out of it. I think it’s better for us to be inclusive than exclusive, and this type of generosity and honesty gains respect in the community.
At my studio I get the occasional request if we offer barre classes, which we don’t, but I know of a studio in my town that does, so I refer them to that studio. Although barre is a different movement style, the spirit of generosity still applies.
Recently, a classically trained instructor who had moved to the area contacted me with her interest in teaching at my studio. After her demo and some thinking, she decided not to teach at my studio and eventually opened her own about 20 minutes from me. I saw this as a fantastic opportunity for me to experience classical equipment, which was new to me. I had been terribly curious about it and wanted to experience first hand what everyone was talking about. As soon as her studio was set up and ready to go, I booked a session and learned a bunch of new things that helped my body and inspired my teaching. She is a very different teacher from me, and she will attract very different clients.
Here are some reasons why I would refer a client to another teacher or studio:
- I’m fully booked and can’t fit the client into my or the studio’s schedule
- One of my current clients has a different mindset and approach to Pilates: if I feel I have to convince them in every lesson that what I do has value, then it might be better to refer them out… we’ll both be happier
- If I or my studio don’t offer the day, time or type of class that the student is looking for, it’s more important that the student gets to do their preferred movement, even if it’s somewhere else
As Pilates teachers, it’s our goal to help people have positive movement experiences and to build awareness of mind and body. Whether they reach that goal through us or our “competitors” doesn’t matter so much; what matters is that people are moving and finding happiness.
Keep a generous spirit even or especially when the stresses of our lives make us withdraw, contract, and pull back. Sharing opens your heart to others, and people will love and remember you for it.
Your turn! Share your story of Generosity & Pilates in the comments section below.
Mara Sievers NCPT, is a Polestar Graduate, Practitioner and the creator of the Pilates Encyclopedia. “Pilates is an amazing method, and it can be hard. It requires a lot of time to master. With its many details, it can seem overwhelming at first. Even after completing a comprehensive training, there is still so much to learn.“

Workshop Objectives:
The process of planning this mat class involved adopting a filter of empathy and sensitivity towards domestic trauma abuse victims. As one of my clients who is an MD said, “We all have suffered our own trauma at some point in our lives.” Although this is true, I have never personally experienced the level of trauma as that of a CORA client. I reached out to a few friends and colleagues who have, as well as to Pilates teachers on “The Contemporary Pilates Haven” Facebook group who have had experience working with victims of domestic abuse. Excellent advice came from all of these sources.
One member of this Facebook group recommended the book, The Body Keeps The Score, by Bessel Van der Kolk M.D. This excellent read was particularly helpful in understanding the current neuroscience research involving trauma and pointed towards the successful use of Yoga and Pilates as tools whereby the individual can experience the self as finally being seen and heard, a state of being that often disappears from the psyche of the abused.
In other words, just to be, as opposed to not be, (think Shakespeare), is an essential step for the individual to experience as she/he negotiates a path towards freedom.
I had to design a Pilates Mat class that delayed supine, prone and quadruped positions on the mat as these positions would likely be triggers that could land the participant in a real moment of re-lived trauma crisis. These positions would need to be introduced in a manner where the participant felt an organic sequencing that got them there with a sense of self efficacy and power.
As opposed to a list of exercises to teach, here is where the six Polestar Pilates Principles of Movement helped me to design an appropriate class. Breath, Axial Elongation and Core Control, Spine Articulation and Mobility, Head Neck and Shoulder Organization, Alignment and Weight Bearing of the Extremities, and Movement Integration.
The class started sitting on stools where we mobilized the feet using blue mini balls, and breath and spine movement exploration using Therabands. We progressed to standing for mobility and balance exercises in the spine and extremities using the wall and the floor for support, followed by supine, prone and quadruped exercises with feet against the wall. We returned to standing in a circle with some group movement, folk dance style. In one of the groups we also did an improvisation using the mirror exercise where, working in partners with palms held up and facing each other but without touching palms, the duo moves together as if looking in a mirror. Many of us movement teachers may have done this sometime in our past, but none of the CORA staff members had ever done this exercise before. They loved it!
Aside from the stools, blue mini balls and Therabands, the only other small props I used were partially inflated squishy balls for proprioceptive feedback through the hands, and upper and lower back while doing exercises standing at the wall and in supine. The use of balls for the wall exercises was important because it brought an element of play to the experience and would hopefully avoid a trigger experience of abuse.
We addressed all of the Polestar Principles during this class, and as is so often the case, each exercise hit on many Principles simultaneously.
During the discussion afterwards, I asked the staff members for feedback as to how, or even if, they thought what they had just experienced might be beneficial for their clients. They all commented on the awareness of breath as a huge benefit for bringing the self into the present. I had introduced the statement, “breath is a tool, not a rule” to the group as we explored mobility through all the movement planes, changing where to inhale and exhale. They found this particularly on point as it facilitated each of them to feel positive change in their movement where there had initially been some discomfort. They commented that this might be a first concrete step for many of their clients to feel less invisible. After all, the successful change was generated by the self and not an outside force. Not surprisingly, they also saw the value for their clients in the group and partner generated movement at the end of class as it provided community support.
As of this writing, the CORA Safe House Curriculum Director has indicated that she would like to find a way to incorporate Pilates into the early evening programming. Some of the therapists are considering ways to bring Pilates into their group sessions. These are a group of dedicated, underpaid non-profit organization employees working to improve the lives of their clients. Although no ongoing relationship between myself and CORA has been established, and it may take awhile to solidify some plans, I believe that we will find a way to make something work. Stay tuned!
BP: What type of supportive systems are used in a home that you design?
K: They are all wood framed houses so normally wooden beams, columns or structural walls.
Sometimes when we want a long span of open space we use steel beams.
BP: How do you determine how many beams to put up in your house to keep the roof from
caving in?
K: So over 20 feet and under normally requires some sort of wooden beam. Over 20 will
require a bigger/stronger beam.
BP: What would happen if you have to little support?
K: Well the structure would fall, obviously.
BP: What would happen if you have too much support?
K: Too much… nothing would happen to the structure, but it would be a waste of resources.
BP: What other things make your job fun but challenging?
K: It’s fun because it’s creative and each family I design for is unique. It’s challenging for 2
reasons:
1. When the lots are small but people still want to build a big house on limited space.
2. Trying to accommodate everything they want but sometimes those things conflict with each
other physically. For instance, you want a window in the bathroom, but the desired location of
the bathroom is not on an exterior wall. So we either have to move the room, or not have
windows.
BP: Based on this interview I have supported the reasoning for why the quote, “as little as possible, as much as necessary” is important not only in Pilates and architecture but in life in general. Using too much stuff during a job wastes resources; using too little doesn’t create enough support. I have also realized that my job and Kally’s have more similarities than I once imagined. We both have to figure out what is best for our clients through creative and critical thinking. She describes her process of designing a house like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Kally knows what they want, but it is not always a quick fix. Similarly, when a new client walks into my door, they may have a goal for their body, but I know it will take multiple sessions to make that goal a reality.
Becky Phares, PMA®-CPT is a Polestar Pilates Graduate, Practitioner and contributor to the Polestar Life Weekly Blog. With more than 10 years of teaching Becky teaches at her studio The Body Initiative Pilates Studio in Lafayette, Louisiana. Find Becky and her Studio on Facebook: 
